The Colonel having slipped away from the Sydney suburbs has found a haven on the fringes of the outback, and a few intelligence reports are being assessed. Some facts that have been cleared by the censors.

The settlement that is giving sanctuary is so quiet that the noise of washing dishes after 8p.m., where all windows are open on account of the heat, gives alarm to all the canines causing some embarrassment. This activity would of course go unnoticed every other Thursday as it is dole and booze day for the blacks, and some whites, but they are usually quieter. A little known fact that makes one proud to be British, (possibly even Canadian). A deluxe section of Australian ‘bathroom tissue’ measures only 1150×1000mm whilst the noble British equivalent measures a magnificent and generous 1200×1120mm, in fact the Brits enjoy a whopping 16.87% greater comfort level and safety margin in their dunnies. ‘A small rip off!’