Scanning the first few articles in the grand new Autumn issue of the BV, the Yew Hursters were impressed the the Editor’s prodigious ability to absorb locals news and lavish hors d’ouvres simultaneously. However the danger of collecting copy while still jet lagged and under the influence of increasing quantities of champagne became apparent in the piece entitled ‘Chicken Drama’. The story started accurately enough but soon became a little muddled (much like most of the guests at the welcome home drinks party). This then is the gist. After Kate’s Fayoumi hen rashly flew into Megan’s jaws it was decided, as reported, that a replacement be found immediately at the upcoming Salisbury Market. Eloise, determined to find a replacement for her favourite hen whose sad demise has been reported in last week’s BV, also decided to try her luck there. At the sale the birds were all carefully examined, lot numbers duly noted and the auction eagerly anticipated. Eloise, who had her eye on a pair of fine Marrans, secured the lot suspiciously quickly and cheaply. A kindly onlooker, possibly alerted to the depth of our ignorance by the fact that Eloise had started bidding before auctioneer had finished describing the lot, asked her if she realised that she had just bought two cocks. In the stunned silence that followed he added that if she didn’t want to keep them Jim Butt, Salisbury Chicken Supremo, would ‘take them off her hands’. A discussion then followed with Eloise seeming to favour keeping the cocks reasoning that if she could persuade them not to crow Tim, who had expressly forbidden any purchase of cocks, would not notice. When asked if he wouldn’t wonder why no eggs appeared she replied “He is a very patient man” (does this make him eligible for a BV award?) However in spite of Tim’s probable forbearance it was decided to off load the purchase. Jim Butt was approached and, having delivered a stern lecture on the perils of novices bidding at auctions, agreed to take the birds. Your correspondent in the meantime had beaten off stiff opposition to acquire a charming Seabright hen – 2 years old – new colour. Quashing any unworthy thoughts that this might be the most expensive Seabright cock – old colour – in the Southern Counties, the bird was paid for and borne in triumph to the Hen Haven where it is now strutting in perfect safety – until Megan’s next visit! Later in the week Eloise, undeterred by her experience, purchased two fine hens from a more reputable source near Beaulieu. The trauma of their arrival and subsequent ferocious rejection by the resident brigade of SS Panzer Chicks can only be adequately reported by those who have suffered through it. Over to you, Eloise!