This is an apparition which is said to be over six foot with a beak like a scythe. Neither Button nor Nelson were prepared to be interviewed and their vets have relied on professional discretion.

The Great Cockerle will have your head off while it clucks and scratches. People who have seen it close up and swaggering about have described the stole of fox furs about its neck, a profusion of snouts and teeth at one end and lots of paws and nails at the other. Experienced locals keep a clove of garlic in their fundament as it is said to be unconscionably randy as well.

This would also explain what is describes by Outer Valers and visitors as “the Blissford Walk”, though strictly speaking the only sitings have been in Godshill and at the Watersplash/Parish borders. Whatever! Don’t let it get behind you without being prepared!

Though stories of its origin vary, there is some agreement that it is a result of the quaint locale custom of “cockerle gifting’ and the unfortunate confluence of a tube of Godxilla’s Nettle cream(r) ( a powerful local panacea formulated by the High Herbalist) being left carelessly out in the run.

Lord Darnley may well have been a minor manifestation (of the Great Cockerle) though people who saw Lord Darnley remember him as rather “mincing’ , rather than menacing.

To the amusement of long time locals, the Great Cockerle is often mistaken for a Chinook helicopter when of an eve he glides over the Vale beating his wings, looking for foxes, small dogs and rattling the crockery. If in doubt, check your garlic and go for cover. Only when it is quiet ring Sqdn. Leader Blake on the usual number so all bases are covered.

Some say the Great Cockerle of the Vale is responsible for the dearth of Rheas locally, but this has been dismissed as utter fantasy by the Chicken Supremo. All sittings should be reported!

next week: The Weird Salmon Tickler of Steep Hill