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Bo-Peep

As almost the entire community sits entranced by the silver words of Maggot Our Very Own MP, in live Q&A at the Hall (you did go, didn’t you?) YFC, being left alone, takes a quiet moment to consider a problem of great and immediate significance.

I mentioned last time the appearance of organ pipes in the Head Gardener’s herbaceous border. Here’s what happened.

On a sunny day two weeks ago, assisted only by seven hulky men in jeans and no shirts (picture censored), the Head Gardener set forth on a little light pruning in the back garden. Viz, a clump of 25-foot high oak trees that had grown where not required.

While YFC took a well-earned siesta, the head tree-feller, un type vraiment artistique sans doubte, persuaded the gullible HG they should not cut the stumps to ground level, but leave them as you see here (picture attached) – the tall one is about 8 foot high. And so they cut; and so they left. Organ pipes.

Which provokes the question: what to do with them now? Hmm…

1. Turn a semblance of organ pipes into real ones. Problem: much carving required. How to tune? Can Buxtehude be played using only five notes? Where would the puff come from?
2. Sculpture. Struck by the similarity of these remains to certain sculptures on the autoroute A4 betwixt (as the estate agents say) Reims and Verdun, smooth and paint them in jolly colours. Problem: would we also have to have cubes, pyramids, and lots of balls?
3. The Richard Rogers approach. In a sort of ‘Imitation du Centre Pompidou’, use them to conceal the house’s air conditioning ducts. Problem: we have no air conditioning to duct.
4. Neighbour Larry has (it seems) long harboured a desire to carve a totem pole. Maybe representations of That Nice John Major, Little Willie, and Mr Thing would look well. Problem: that leaves the short fat stump. Who?

Suggestions welcome, the more absurd the better.

YFC.

There were all the signs of disturbance in the force. The red plastic shovel at the cattle grid, the forlorn trowel. Poppy was welcoming and the furniture moving was easy once Sarah advised Hugh and I how. It was the summoning to the presence by Princess Alice with her ever present and giggly jester, Ben that was even more moving. So jolly at bath time! Blissford Mountain Ham

“Sponting” at Boonoo found a milky smelling Kate (something to do with the lambs) proudly exhibiting a massive Blissford Mountain Ham, home cured a la facon de Parma, fortunately rediscovered six months on. Very tasty!

The Editor was in fact just checking on the Boonoo Tilley Repair facility and able to admire parts on order for the Squire and collect his own and borrow the “loaner¹ in case the vapouriser was inadequate. It wasn’t.

It must have been wild! A startled guest, momentarily confused by seeing the editor out of his mileu and interrogated at Waitrose ( he wishes to be nameless), at first could not remember the evening at all ( or intended to proffer an alibi) and when the light dawned, he recollected the curious sorting arrangements whereby he was sequestered in a beautiful room with Busy Issy, Steely Steve and Claire (three times winner of the Perpetual Bonfire Award). He could give no explanation.

Apparently these guests were rewarded by Mummy Bunny (back from her travels, a jaunty Wilts and Dorset cap rakishly perched on her bouffant) ) with first go at the hot horses doovers. They were delighted with the attention and space to breathe. But why?

Another possibility is that Eloise may have been modelling silky underthings purchased in the exclusive ‘Whoopee’ boutique in Megeve using an assumed name; and ‘delicate’ guests were spared the excitement.

No news of Terence?

Mike was heard to say they had drained the pond and that he had 4,000 gallons of fertiliser water to share.

The High Sheriff, Naked Pilot and Claire all but missed curtain raising at the Memorial Hall where Forest Forge were offering dramatic theatre.

FTFV (looking splendid on her new boyish destrier Friday) hopes to host the Vale and is having a garden party on the evening of June 21st 2003, at Bow Cottage, Horsington, Templecombe, Somerset. Only about an hour in the charabanc, come for 7:30. All welcome – no NFI’s!!

There is a fine selection of serving trays and plates at our front door. New Chicks at Frogham Mount

Three chicks were chalked up on the Darnley Saturday night. Late breaking – the Leith Cow broke out, left for Ogden’s where she was seen entertaining another herd, so they are down one on cattle. Alexander Celebrates

Donald Leith and Jonathan Adshead gathered to help celebrate a 14th birthday with some fast corners at Wessex Cartway (largest in indoor circuit in Europe!) Small Ads – Needed for one week July 10 -20th Thule Roof box or similar to fit Peugeot estate for five sensible women on 50s trek to Western Loire. Let Jude know if you can help. Vintage Spotted – Martin and Chrissie were touring in their antique open roadster with a host of buddies in a rally last week.

As regards the lack of recent updates to the online service that is BVToday, my client is apologetic for any inconvenience caused and promises to update the pages as soon as possible. He would however, like to remind readers that they can now read much of the entire catalogue of back issues of The Voice. He would also like to inform patrons that he really has been terribly busy updating the parent site of www.shepline.com , including recently becoming an Amazon Associate, and working round the clock on preparing the groundwork for this years forthcoming (and brand new!) One BLOG Summer 2003!! Yours respectively, Mr V I Portant (Solicitors to the Web Genii)

In demand re-prints…… (March 2002) taken off the website….thanks RWG!)

1. some swarfega, the big tub with the pump, as cooking can be greasy.
2. a big roll of heavy duty foil. 
3. some light pliable wire
4. a ring mold & a tractor

The principle is straightforward. Decide how long you will be running the tractor and over what sort of ground. With a long bout of good hot work on hilly terrain you could easily poach a salmon with dill in butter sauce. If you were just topping a small field, then perhaps just beef burgers ‘n onions is possible.

Then examine your tractor. What you want to do is to design a one pot dinner that can gently steam while you are harrowing.

For example a Belgian carbonnade of beouf in beer. Some good small chunks of Blissford beef, fresh herbs and spices, some pots, carrots, a good glug of beer, some onions and a little of whatever else you fancy and you are ready!

Take two sheets of foil at least a metre by a metre and place them in a big bowl or on a tray so no liquids will leak out. Place all your ingredients in the dimple and then carefully wrap the parcel with a good french roll, then roll the sides. Do the same with the second piece of foil so your gourmet dinner is securely wrapped twice. Secure it with the wire leaving long ends so you can fasten this succulent package to the hottest part of the tractor you can find and you are away. With a little adjustment and experimentation you find it easy to insure that after a long dusty day with the disc harrow, dinner is ready!

What about the ring mold I hear you cry? Use your tin snips to take out the middle and use it to warm buns (it sits on older models) over and around the chimney!

Get to know your tractor. Look for the niche that will hold some of those big foil wrapped King Edwards. The wires from the distributor might hold a nice tureen of fresh mushroom soup and so on. Avoid moving parts!

With experience you^ll be able to comfortably defrost joints, gently fibrillate a deep rich wine gravy or produce a stomach soothing emince de veau a la creme to astonish friends at the Big Straight Furrow competition.

The tractor is just the Aga of the Fields!

Enjoy!

next week: Oysters Tracta Rockafella(see photo)