Blissford Voice Today » Issue 99a

Grand Welcome For Summer Snow Birds

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:23:13 +0000

Grand Welcome for Summer SnowBirds Mudmer was the scene of some gaiety last night as champagne corks popped. Sara, local councillor Hugh and Alice the Blissford Toddler; welcomed neighbours and readers of the B.V. with devastating horse doovers and charm. The guests of honour, recently returned from Canada, where they summered in their modest summer home on shimmering Lake Simcoe (see photo). Jude and the Editor made their way over Blissford Hill on foot to join the jolly throng. The ESW & Bride made a guest appearance on their way to an engagement in Southampton and dressed to the nines, the glittering cafe society Adsheads and their designated driver also appeared.

Romsey Show Today

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:22:23 +0000

Romsey Show Today Blissford’s favourite knees will be appearing at the Romsey show today, discretely hidden from view as Henry fronts the New Forest machinery marquee with enormous aplomb.

Free refreshments & tractor for anyone with a copy of the BV.

(only one per family)

Paint Fest At Thyme Cottage

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:21:27 +0000

Maureen revealed that with the cattle grid (finally installed ten years after Betty ordered it!) and the dishwasher, the free time had allowed her and John OBE to tackle the myriad tasks that had lane uncompleted. Working to a list of some 125 projects, there is coffee and a paint brush for all who arrive suitable accoutred for Paint Fest Y2K, and mechanical prowess will be be rewarded eventually with a ride in the MGB. John’s stock of creosote, once reckoned the largest and most pungent in Blissford, has been reduced to two cans! Steve, resplendant in black tie, mother of pearl studs and gold links asked what kind of graffiti John wanted on the the new white washed wall in Cow Lane.

Croft On The Loose

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:20:59 +0000

There was some consternation when famed local son and Thesp of many voices failed to appear for the village fete. A stand-in commenced but fortunately Jon arrived fortuitously from northern climes and the familiar mellifluous tones refreshed the festival. Jon has been testing his skills (and those of the production staff) on the live improv show for Channel Four (screened Friday evenings).

Chicken Dramas

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:20:26 +0000

Shamefaced, Marie-Anne admitted that in a moment of over exuberance, Megan had inadvertently consumed one of Kate’s costly fayoumis. This disaster propelled her inexorably, to Salisbury Market, where top price (Â£2.00) was paid (amongst other purchases) for a cockerel (to the delight of other bidders).The cockerel bought to improve the egg laying capacity in Frogham was carried home for Tim in the hopes that if told not to crow he would not notice. Tim’s patience and forbearance was relied on to cover the fact that few if any eggs would be available. Chicken rearing has been challenging for this talented cycling team. A hen rushed to Dr. Duncton’s surgery in the utilitarian Bankok Chicken Carrier (on loan from Hen Haven) and operated on for a blocked crop. Though Nina’s surgery was successful, the doughty layer expired in the recovery suite. Apparently a useful remedy for blocked crop is to simply turn the affected foul upside down, causing it to vomit. Tim did warn anyone attempting this feat, should be appropriately clothed as he was covered in projectile bile when he carried out the manoeuvre.

Local Councillors Meet

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:19:22 +0000

In a rare show of cross parish solidarity, Blissford’s own High Sheriff arranged an urgent meeting with Godshill Borders’ newest, Hugh; to discuss rezoning the Avon and the Green Belt.

Leiths Convivial

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:18:37 +0000

The chatelaine of Frogham Mount was quite pleased with the prospect of joining the Blissford Chicken claque. A formidable Scotts Dumpy awaits her new home before leaving Hen Haven for the south. Charlie recounted the joys of driving famed drug baron Pablo Escobar’s vintage Aston Martin Vantage Volante (Pablo being unavailable). Charlie was unable to confirm that Sara’s new black Jeep with its smoked windows also belonged to Pablo or one of his lieutenants, but could not exclude the possibility.

Thomas

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:17:58 +0000

On behalf of all the staff here at the BV, I would like to thank and commend Thomas for the magic of the Big Summer Issues. It may be that some of our readers have not had an opportunity to visit what is one of the most innovative and impressive websites on the Net. Anyone visiting cannot fail to be impressed by the virtuosity of this spectacular site. Many hours must be spent to maintain a site of this quality and all Blissford thank you. for doing us proud!.

Memorial Beautification

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:17:08 +0000

Our thanks to the ladder and team who repaired and beautified the touching memorial to Lord Darnley, bleached by the summer sun.

Centenary Copy

Editor — Sat, 09 Sep 2000 14:16:25 +0000

Thomas has calculated that we are up to our 100th edition and a grand gala celebration is proposed on Thursday October 5th in the staff canteen at the Forester’s. Mingling from 7:00 and orders by 7:30 if possible. Numbers and Nominations for awards to the Editor when convenient.