Blissford Voice Today » Issue 56

Dr. FTFV in Lice Breakthrough!

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:40:53 +0000

The Daily Telegraph reports that Dr. Fiona Macdonald has developed a new product for removing lice from salmon, and a Cornish sample has shown it excellent for humans as well! It contains none of the dangerous sheep dip chemicals (organo-phosphates), and is made from the processed pulp of citrus fruit. “Our work with fish was positive, so why not give it a go?” Dr. FTFV declared in characteristic style. Its totally safe for children and most small pets. Readers can find a supply of Follicel in Fionas loo at the Brambles.

Fast Food in Blissford

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:39:35 +0000

The Editor moseyed along to Boonoo Squared to deliver some back numbers to the returning holiday makers from Crete (as a mark of special affection). Clasped in his hand was the very issue containing the deeply moving Cous-Cous obit. Imagine his surprise to find Cous-Cous there, on the butcher block table and looking nothing like her photo in the BV! Still Hardy was appreciative when a portion was dispensed for his enjoyment. Henry looked remarkably chipper after his dramatic Audition for the ITV Great Escapes Rescue programme on the telly.

Marie-Anne has captured the moment, Chris, kindly family butcher in apron, half spectacles low on nose as he prepared the Richardson family roast. Maria-Anne also revealed she had snapped the engaging vision of the Disseminator in its little green rain coat (in view of the inclement weather). The Chicken Supremo (who rang in three Friday night) was not luxuriating in bed with tanned limbs and a tub of Greek yoghourt with wild bees honey, but off at Water Colour class.

Dramas at Ford

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:38:38 +0000

First Millennium Bottoms Set Our Enery was on stand-by with his rake as Fuzzy ran the Watersplash concession at the week-end. Last week-ends catch was a Vauxhall. Henry then returned to ditch clearing and rodding. As a result of the above, men from the council came and spent a day painting, digging and cementing the Watersplash which is now ready for Y2K. There was more beautification to come! The first two demure bottom prints have now set and are excellent though the initials are probably otiose. Certain senior members who are not as brave, have asked for a modesty panel during the bottom squidging in. This may necessitate closing the Watersplash during an off peak period. Henry has gallantly volunteered to be ready with the fresh cement.

Flood worries at Mudmer

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:37:37 +0000

Hugh, fresh from carving 15 minutes from his best Marathon time, looked worried as he revealed that the backlog of leaves was still blocking the grill in the Blissford Water tributary running across his land. Helpful neighbours offered sand bags. The editor feels there is an apology due from those who became ribald on the subject of nipple taping. Sara has declared Blissford Garden Suburb a no choc zone and has had three sinless days but broke down in London and had a Cadburys Boost in lieu of bfast and lunch.

No Ducks No More

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:35:56 +0000

Boonoo Squared is now duckless. three were removed to Lightlands Aquadrome in a shopping trolley by Andrew and Jan ( see Aquadrome Report). One drake made his way to Kingfisher Water by foot. A Dutch Bantam Rooster has also moved to be with the Bunnies (more sinister evidence of cockerle gifting!). The Pond has been blessed with a Mallard and four ducklings. A Frizzle Cockerel is missing.

Halloween

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:35:07 +0000

If you dont want gaily caparisoned Trick or Treaters to visit for sweets please place a large blacked or burning cross either on or in front of your door on All Hallows Eve. Costumed callers will be welcomed for treats and a bit of a scare at Brook Farm.

First Christmas Cheer

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:33:52 +0000

Please come to Brook Farm at midday on Sunday December 12th for some pleasant libations and light snacks. Feel free to bring a horses doovers of your own concoction or your own tincture of blackberry vodka. All issue welcome but no livestock. We would like to borrow a copy of the classic hit Hen Haven Chooks Sing Christmas Favourites as ours has gone unaccountably missing.

Blissford Vetless for 10 Days

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:32:52 +0000

Residents of Lower Blissford have been hoarding mulch as news of famous vet, Dr. FTFVs departure for Victoria, B.C. has been disseminated. Local salmon have breathed a sigh of relief!

Kingfisher Cottage Electrified

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:32:04 +0000

A ring of electric wire on red bobbins now encircles the rustic cottage at the Watersplash. Neighbours suspect they are expecting very big predators, as the wiring seems designed to keep things out a la Jurassic Park! Could it be the Boonoo Squared fixation with Chias. or the prospect of the Colonels goats?

Leiths Calves to Visit from Frogham Mount

Editor — Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:31:12 +0000

Fiona dropped by to check the suspect fencing at Brook Farm in preparation for the move of their calves. Solar and Eclipse have settled in nicely with their mums.