Blissford Voice Today » Issue 58

Round-Up At Mudmer

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 13:07:37 +0000

Transhumance comes to Blissford. Our agricultural correspondent was invited to Bracken cottage on Sunday morning to report on the first of what will become bi-annual movements of the flock (aka Toby and Topsy) from West Mudmer to East Mudmer, via the croquet lawn (isnt two a brace? -Ed). Blissfordians too numerous to mention individually had turned up to help, or perhaps more out of curiosity – Crocodile Chris recorded most of the event on camcorderfor those that missed live coverage. Moving two sheep 100 yards doesn’t sound either overly challenging or a great spectator sport … until you realise that there was no sheepdog and that none of the participants actually had any experience of moving sheep. Katherine de Bunch had brought a goat collar with authentic Swiss mountain bell, which sadly had to be rejected since it would barely fit Poppy let alone the sheep. Whilst Toby made the journey relatively easily, Topsy took six people and ropes round her hind legs and neck a good quarter of an hour to make the Journey. Just when a total success was about to be claimed, she ran off into her new pasture with the horse’s neck-rein still on her neck. By now a crew of eight were in the field trying to trap her to remove the rope, but she charged through them akin to Jona Lomu (perhaps she is a New Zealand Cross rather than a pure Dorset sheep) going through the England defence. A further fifteen minutes of taunting her would be captors until Henry ‘Dallaglio’ Richardson brought her down with an outstanding tackle to all four legs. Sadly, the camcorder had run out of tape seconds before, and those who were not there will just have to take our word for it.

Boonoo2 Clear-Out

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 13:06:07 +0000

Cockerle Gifting

Bracken Cottage finally succumb to peer pressure. Many Blissfordians have commented to us about the lack of some je ne sais quoi which would give completeness to Blissford Garden suburb. What could it be – we have a baby, horses, sheep, many types of plant (although I only know the names of three of them – HR) and a stream. It gradually became clear that one couldn’t be fully accepted as a Blissfordian without owning chickens, although we had always resisted the temptation, having witnessed the mental anguish and emotional trauma which our poultried neighbours often put themselves through, as evidenced by the weekly rituals at the Darnley Memorial. Sunday being Sarah’s birthday, Kate determined to put things right by offering a former prize winning Frizzell cockerel (now affectionately known as “Frizzlecock”) as a birthday present. Sarah was overwhelmed by the gift initially saying “I usually get mine ready jointed and skinned from Waitrose”. “Frizzy”, who initially looked a little subdued (wouldn’t you if you had just witnessed Kate butcher and freeze 32 of your siblings? [26 chalked as K.F.C.! Ed]) has now settled in to Gaucho’s old stable, where he is at home to visitors, unless you are a fox. (apparently fed on smoked salmon and pumpernickel!).

Update

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 13:04:55 +0000

Sara has been concerned that their gifted cockerel was lonely and and Kate was able to supply a small hen called Quasimodo for company. Matters have improved and now Frizzlecock leaves the barn quite happily. Sara is not satisfied with the hen supplied (small and not very pretty – in line for KFC when diverted).

Bonfire Bunfight

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 13:03:45 +0000

Yewhurst was the venue for a ring side view of the fabulous Fordingbridge fireworks. Squire Enery prepared a reviewing spot and bonfire with mulled wine and sparklers and then the jollied group repaired to elegant dinner in Yewhurst Manor. Pumpkin soup, pheasant ragout and a splendid selection of puds (apple and cardomon tatin!) regaled the company.

Serious Dig at Boonoo Squared

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 13:02:35 +0000

John M.B.E.s excavations (losely disguised as cattle grid installation) have inspired the Colonel to level a vast patio. Mysterious trenches have revealed the site of an ancient Roman villa and spa, and the planting of a double row of fast growing hybrid willows means that naturist activities cannot be excluded.

English Heritage are involved and hope to put a stop to any more depredations, before the sitte is compromised.

John & Penny Back online

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 13:01:39 +0000

After a month struggling without a server, the Hillsiders have succumbed.

Mudmer Murder Mystery Dinner

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 12:59:04 +0000

Hugh has admitted that in amongst his myriad possessions there is a vintage Murder Mystery and has vowed to dust it off and fix a date.

Blissford City Council: Planning applications

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 12:56:50 +0000

Boonoo: Awful use certificate, planting of 400 willow trees. Planning consent granted.

Waggon Wheels: Early year 2000. Remove boundary fence to Bethlehem Home for Donkeys. Transfer mobile home unit. Return mobile home unit to current position. Replace boundary fence. Planning consent refused.

Brook Farm (1): Replacement of Betty’s original fence posts (now listed).

Brook Farm (2): Display on highway (Tuesdays only) three additional black sacks.

Local Patterdale in epic rescue

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 12:55:59 +0000

Blissford Thursday. Local poet and father of four, whilst walking his people came upon a lost golden labrador early today, The labrador (name withheld ) was in such a distressed condition that it was unable to hear his own name being called, with great presence of mind Nelson quickly took control, calming the labrador and then shepherded the lost dog back to an equally distressed person of foreign origin, whereupon they were happily united.

Dog Napping Attempt Foiled

Editor — Sat, 13 Nov 1999 12:54:40 +0000

A cousin of Judes from Canada was walking Hardy on the Forest when he caught sight of an oddly accoutered group trying to follow a small black dog. Debbie remarked especially on the fetching white sans culotte hat worn by one. She was able to ascertain their purpose and sternly borrowing a lead, continued her walk with Hardy. Later, a salad bowl was left at Brook Farm in compensation.