Blissford Voice Today » Issue 60

If Lamb Be the food of love…

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 11:05:05 +0000

The girls have had their toes trimmed, anti-wormed, fluke treatment and yearly injections, all to welcome Â³the BoyÂ². He arrived on Sunday by Richardson taxi service and making charming soft rumbles, set to work the same day. Rosemarys Baby still looking a little surprised; has colourful proof of his attention (no, members of the Blissford flock are not covered in blood, just linseed oil mixed with a colouring stick).We look forward to the patter of tiny feet in the spring( a hundred and 47 days for those who are interested.

Bo-Peep of M

On Receipt of a french E

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 11:03:56 +0000

Ed,

Merci pour l’histoire satirique. Tres amusant and tres intellectuelle! I shall take it to my French class on Thursday and it will do doubt create even more distraction. I tried to imagine the response of my alter ego, Lesley Austin Mayfield, to your question – “Pourquoi le poulet a-t-il traverse la route?” Perhaps she would have said: The handsome chicken, not wishing to breathe or murmur the spirit of an ill-used fowl, with great rapidity took leave of Bracken Drove. A pitiable object, he begged the pardon of his fellow creatures, and with sinking heart crossed “la route”. As the Darnley Bell tolled in the distance, the fowl knew nothing could save him. He fixed his eyes of glowing entreaty on local farmer (and some time blacksmith), but dear reader, who can be in doubt of what followed? Our feathered friend, the victim of a mind poisoned with darings of heedlessness, fell sacrifice to Farmer H’s palate. A bientot.

Lesley

Important Notice

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 11:02:28 +0000

Dear readers,

As you will no doubt be aware, the Blissford Voice is taking a break from its regular publication over the festive period. You may not be aware of the new Online version. The production team involved in the current Blissford Voice Online web site (currently to be found at www.shepline.co.uk) and the soon to be launched dedicated BV Today site, have negotiated with our illustrious editor to insure your enjoyment is continued throughout Christmas and the New Year. It is our intention to publish two Illustrated Special Editions of the BV to celebrate its success and its longevity. These will be disseminated in the normal way on Saturday 25 December and Saturday 1 January. To make these issues possible we need your help. Please write tell us your favourite moments from the archives, and more importantly please send us photographs of events — remember this is to be an illustrated special.

Copy (and photographs) may be left at our collection centre at PostboxCottage, co The Eminent Sea Watcher. Alternitively please submit them to by return of this message.

Copy should be delivered no later that 30 November.

Wishing you well for the festive season.

RWG

Mowers Gathered In Autumn Drift

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 11:01:31 +0000

It is that time of year when despite Steve’s birthday, Izzy, mindful of local traditions, began the long task of herding the recalcitrant mowers down to New Forest Farm Machinery for the annual service. worming and branding.

Murmurs from Mudmer

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 11:00:17 +0000

Dear Ed,

Chocwatch fell apart at Isabel’s on Sunday…I was eating the cake before I realised it was chocolate. And she makes the best tea in Blissford. Its official.

Hen Haven Chooks Still Needed!

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 10:48:39 +0000

The BV, Readers Christmas Noggin is confirmed for Sunday the 12th at Brook Farm (horse doovers gratefully received) from midday (12:00!) Please bring your copies of Hen Haven Chooks. The Blissford Wassailing Group under the able direction of professionals from P.B.C. will perform, possibly backing the Massed Blissford Chicken Choral Group directed by Maistro K de Bunche(rehearsals were on Friday). Please be sure youve seen Debby for your Wassail Sheets.

Massive Building Project Continues…

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 10:46:44 +0000

Men and machines were out last night at Blissfords Biggest Civil Engineering project in many years. Thyme Construction Boss, Big John Newton MBE was out with enough bricks and sand to complete the Blissford Milennium Cattle Grid. Building works are so extensive that they have been picked up by satellites from 10,000 feet up. Â³It has been a big job after a big dig Big John confided to our reporter as gangs of navvies struggled to and fro in the background. He admitted that it had taken what seemed an inordinate amount of time, “But if it is going to be the eighth wonder of Blissford, it has to be done properly!” Big John reckons the grid will not only deter grave robbers from the ancient tomb (uncovered by accident) but will also be able to take a convoy of Centurion tanks and their Chubb armour in its stride. “After the Tay Bridge disaster, Maureen became a little timid crossing large gaps, and I wanted to be sure she would be confident returning home loaded with the weeks shopping.” The grand opening will be performed by local Seer and Prohetess, Kate Lane in the presence of the High Sheriff.

Letters

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 10:39:02 +0000

Sir,

I wish to enquire on the current circulation figures, as careful study of recent issues throw up some alarming discrepancies. In Issue 57 the circulation rises to 19 only fall again with Issue 58. Can it be that someone has found the BV not to their liking. I can hardly bare to believe it. Perhaps you could investigate this and explain in a future issue?

Yours,

A Concerned Reader

Farewell to the Colonel

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 10:38:02 +0000

The multitude of well wishers that gather annually at Kingsford Smith Airport were once again disappointed and unable to catch a single glimpse of the Colonel as he slipped through their midst, unrecogniseable, with his hair dyed grey, wearing scuffed shoes, and no tie! It is believed he had friends (unlikely) waiting with their Pajero to whisk him away to a secret address some where in the Sydney Western suburbs, it is also believed to be a chook free area. It is known that an agent who has been waging psychological warfare against the Colonel for some years arrived a few days before, no doubt to set up an ambush, this would be giving the Colonel some concern.

Late News

Editor — Sat, 27 Nov 1999 10:36:56 +0000

A phone call from the Colonel has been traced to an address in Sydney where it was revealed that he had departed for the country. Great News tonights tv movie (ABC Aus.)– with an all star cast— The Sound of Music!